Choosing a funeral song for your dad

There's a moment, usually a day or two after the shock, when someone asks what music you'd like at the service. And your mind goes blank. You knew him your whole life, and suddenly you can't think of a single song.

That's completely normal. Grief does that.

The best place to start isn't a list of "top funeral songs." It's him. What did he play in the car? What did he hum while he was doing the washing up, or put on when he'd had a couple of drinks at a family party? Some dads had one song they played until everyone begged them to stop. That's often the one.

If he was a quiet, steady sort, something gentle usually fits. Think "Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong or "Danny Boy." If he was the life and soul, don't be afraid to go lighter. We've seen whole rooms smile through tears at "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." It's a funeral, but it's also about him, and he'd probably want people to laugh. If you'd like more ideas, we've put together a longer list of funeral songs for dad.

A lot of families pick three songs: one as people come in, one in the middle for reflection, and one to go out on. That takes the pressure off finding the "perfect" one, because no single song has to say everything.

Ask around, too. His brother, his mates from work or the pub, the grandkids. Someone will remember a song you'd forgotten about, and that conversation alone can be a lovely thing in a hard week.

Sometimes, though, nothing quite fits. The songs are nice, but they're not him. That's why we started writing songs for families. We take the stories you tell us, like his sayings, his habits and the things only you would know, and turn them into a song that's his and nobody else's. If that sounds right for your dad, you can read more about how it works here.

Whatever you choose, there's no wrong answer. If it makes you think of him, it's the right song.