Guide
How to write a memorial tribute
We've helped hundreds of families put words to someone they've lost. The same small tricks come up every time. This is what we'd tell a friend who'd just been asked to speak at a funeral.
1. Start with one specific memory
Don't start with the date they died, or where they were born. Start with a moment. The way they made tea. The thing they said when you broke something. The corner of the garden they always ended up in. Specific is always better than important.
2. Write three things only your family knows
Not their job title. Not the schools they went to. Three details a stranger would never guess — the nickname, the strange opinion they wouldn't budge on, the dish only they made. These are the lines people remember on the way home.
3. Say what they felt like to be around
One paragraph. Not what they did — what they were like. Warm, sharp, calm, funny, steady, soft. The room you're standing in already knows the facts; what they came for is the feeling.
4. Keep it short and read it out loud
Three to five minutes is plenty. That's about 400–650 words. Read it out loud at home before the day. If you can get through it without losing your breath, the length and tone are right. If you can't, cut the heaviest line — not the lightest.
5. End with something they would have said
A phrase of theirs lands harder than anything you can write. "Right, that's that then." "Onwards." "Love you, kid." Whatever they actually said. Finish there and sit down.
What to leave out
- — Long lists of relatives. Name two or three; the rest is noise.
- — The illness, unless it genuinely shaped who they were.
- — Apologies for emotion. Nobody minds. Take the pause.
- — Jokes that need set-up. The short ones land; the long ones don't.
If the words still won't come
Some tributes don't want to be spoken. They want to be sung. If writing a eulogy is one step too far, you can send us a few rough notes about your person and we'll turn them into an original memorial song — soft female vocal, piano, three to four minutes. It plays once at the service and says everything you couldn't.